Shawnee Randolph

One thing I personally struggle with is “mom guilt.” I feel guilty if I take time out for yoga or reading or self-care in general. My kids are older now (7 & 11) and really can handle letting their mom do something for a couple of hours a couple of nights per week and on the weekend. Yet, I still struggle.

Thoughts that go through my head: they are in school all day, I work all day, therefore I must spend every waking hour with them. Which equates to me only writing once they go to sleep. Problem is, I am tired.

One of my goals (and maybe a focus for 2024) is ridding myself of mom guilt and taking some time back for me. Want to join me!?! Here are some ideas I have for making it work.

1. Try setting aside just 30 minutes a day to write. This can be after the kids go to bed or during a nap. But if you’re an imperfect parent like me, chances are those kiddos are going to watch a little T.V. in the evening. Why not write while they relax? OR My 7-year-old has to read every day for at least 20 minutes. Bam, there’s my me time.
2. Schedule a one-time-per-month coffee shop writing retreat. On Saturday morning, head over to a coffee shop, order some breaky and a coffee and just write. Maybe stay until lunchtime.
3. When you’re writing at home and the kids want to be around you, explain to them that you’re going to have 30 minutes of quiet time to write. Get out paper, crayons and pencils and encourage them to write or draw their own storybook.
4. Be intentional. All of the above tips take intentionality. Something I really struggle with. You have to set aside the time. You have to stop cleaning for 30 minutes and you just have to do it.

A note on #3. I have been putting this into action with cooking, cleaning and yoga (I just haven’t started with writing yet). My little one wants to be with me all the time. So, she has her own yoga mat and will do yoga with me (until she gets bored). When I am trying to finish a big cleaning/organizing project, I give her tasks to do. When I cook, she gets to help with stirring or adding ingredients. She is pretty content just hanging out with me. It can be stressful as sometimes I feel I can get things done much faster without her, but it beats not doing it all together.

The takeaway is that it’s important to prioritize yourself and your goals. It will make you happier and healthier. Think about how proud your kids will be when you finish your book or see your article in a magazine.